I'm so frustrated...

with myself. I have just had an argument with my 13 year old, and I found myself reacting to her "sass" in kind....I mean why can't I be the adult here? What kind of example am I setting? Am I showing wisdom? Ahhh, wisdom...the elusive trait that we all want. I want to be the kind of mother who is, wise, caring, gracious...but all I am is obnoxious, mean and angry...okay, maybe not that bad, but I feel like a faliure so many times. And what about that voice in my head that screams "You're ruining your kids!" What/who is that voice? I know it's Satan, wanting me to doubt, and feel guilt-ridden and then hopefully just convince me that I'll never measure up anyway, so why try. BUT I SAY NO!! I will not listen! I can gain wisdom, I can care for my kids hearts, and I can extend them grace...
My pastor Jonathan spoke on wisdom this week. Our church is in the middle of a series on it...
I wrote this down to chew on (who knew I would need it already on Monday)

"The pursuit of wisdom begins with recognition of Who God is.
When I recognize who God is, I become more humble.
Humility leads to dependence.
Dependence leads to surrender.
Surrender leads to trust."

He also talked about the verse in
Prov 9:10: "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.."
and that "The the fear of the LORD leads to life" Prov 19:23.

Okay, so based on all this, here's what I'm thinking:

Fear of the Lord > wisdom > humility > dependence > surrender > trust = LIFE!!

wow...

now I go and love my kid.